What New Mothers In the Pews May Be Thinking

I want to keep my baby in the service, but they offer childcare. Does it irritate people that I don't use it?

I wonder if anyone would notice if I nurse right here; I don't want to miss anything.

Does my baby sound as loud to everyone else as he/she does to me?

Should we sit in the back so we don't distract people?

Should I put my colicky baby in the nursery? 

My baby looked so cute in this outfit... before he/she puked on it.

Woah. Did anyone else hear that blowout? I hope no one can smell it yet.

Is it wrong of me to put my baby in the nursery so he/she doesn't distract me?

Please, Baby, don't start crying/vocalizing right when the pastor/priest/church official asks for a minute of silence!

Do I seem rude when I don't stand up because my baby is asleep in my arms?

Don't fall asleep. Don't fall asleep. Don't fall asleep. 

What if he/she spits up all over the seats?

No, no no! Don't start crying!

My baby is so cute. 

I wonder if anyone can tell I haven't showered in more days than I care to admit. I hope not.

Why do I even try to come to church with a grumpy baby. It must really bother people.

Are people looking at us because the baby is cute or because the baby is annoying? Cute. I'm going to say cute. 

This is hard, but it's worth it.

Why We Should Be Slow to Blame Cancer/Autism/Alzheimer's/Etc. on _____

Think about all the things that have changed in the past hundred or so years.

• Weaker o-zone layer
• Vaccines
• Climate change
• Rise in c-sections and pain medication for labouring women
• Diets (gluten free, dairy free, vegetarian, etc.) where there is limited medical necessity or study that proves their effectiveness
• Increased pollutants
• Blanket use of electricity and/or batteries (constant aural stimulation, if nothing else)
• Processed foods and the need to find ways to speed reproduction to please the masses
• Use of factory-made hygiene/beauty/cleaning products, not all of which are regulated
• Plastics created and used everywhere for nearly everything
• The average person works longer hours and gets less rest
• Greater use of medications where a change in lifestyle could be the better way to solve the problem
• Use of machines (planes, trains, cars, etc.) for transportation
• Tanning and hairless bodies became a beauty standard
• Daily showering is expected as the norm
• Smoking and drugs became cool

These are just some things I came up with; there are countless others. I think it's worth considering. There have been a lot of changes, and we should be careful when blaming one element of change for problems we are encountering in excess without significant proof of their fault.

If I Could Go Back

I dreamed, last night, that I went back in time to when Benny and I met. I don't know how I did it, I only know why. There were some things I thought I could do better – like communicating with more honesty and openness and being less assuming about what he was like before I actually knew him.

There were some problems with my plan. 

First of all, I was the only one who knew what would happen between us. Having already gone through our courtship-of-sorts, engagement, and two and a half years of marriage, I was completely aware of where we would be headed. This knowledge robbed our relationship of what I think was its most unique and essential aspect: Benny pursuing me with no idea of romance or a crush. He had noticed me, he has said before, because of my being a lady, and that had encouraged his approaching me. When I went back, I was the one pursuing him. I knew already what would happen if he pursued me, so why shouldn't it work the other way around? If you know Benny very well at all, you can imagine the disaster that turned into. He is so slow and careful in his decision making, he was not at all receptive to my taking charge, nor did this allow his need to fight for me to take place. That would be difficult for any man.

One thing I also had not considered was that I was going back with all the maturity I had gained over a period of five years. Benny did not have such an advantage. Instead of going back to the man I know now, I was interacting with Benny and a considerably lesser maturity level. That was not at all easy to deal with. He grew so much in the two years between when we met and when we married, people would have a hard time recognizing him from one year to the next. It was truly impressive, and I wouldn't have married the man he was when we initially met.

It also meant that all that time we spent getting to know one another was lost. I already knew so much about him, we didn't need to write the many letters asking each other questions that were so pivotal to our relationship. I think we wrote nearly 100 letters back and forth before we got married, and that doesn't include emails, talking in person, chatting on Facebook, or phone calls. We got to know one another in a very short amount of time as a result of all the types of talking which took place. How would you react if someone started pursuing you, seeming to know way too much about you, and you have no clue what he or she is like?

How did it end? I'm not really sure, because Benny woke me up to nurse Ellie, but it wasn't going anywhere good. As tempting as it could be to say I could make things better by going back, I think my dream convinced me there would be much to lose, as well.

As Benny said, when I told him about it: “It's like you were in the Room of Consequence. Now you know better.”