I don’t know
if every first-time mother hears all the disparaging comments I have as I’ve
been going through my first pregnancy, but I can’t imagine I’m the first.
Perhaps you know what I mean. You’re curled up, reading a book, and someone
says: “You won’t have time for that once the baby is born.” You say something
about sleeping really well: “Enjoy your sleep while you can.” Almost everything
I do, now, I’m told to appreciate and enjoy, because once the baby is born, my
life ends.
What?!
Perhaps I’m
a dying breed, but all I have wanted to do since I was eight or nine was be a
wife and mother. That’s really it. There are things I did and enjoyed,
certainly, that weren’t directly involved, but they were all things that will
eventually benefit my children. I have planned for this my entire life, and
during a time I expected to be encouraged by other women, I find them pointing
out all the freedoms I will be losing – freedoms which I don’t really care
about, to be honest.
Thank God my
mother hasn’t been this way. It was watching her work so hard that inspired me.
She homeschooled us, fixed our clothes, cooked on an amazingly small budget,
raised us up with life skills people just don’t have anymore, and was our
encourager. I felt completely prepared to take on the challenges of caring for
my own home by the time I needed to, so I know she prepared me well. I want to
do the same for my children. I know it wasn’t easy. I watched her struggle with
the each of us in our own areas of, let’s say, lesser qualities. She cried over
her worries with us, daily exhausted herself, and still found time to bring
light to the lives of hundreds of others. I never heard her complain. I want to
do that, too.
So when
people tell me: “Enjoy your life; it will be over soon,” frankly, I want to
slap them. In what other job can you do that? “Wow – you’re going to be a
nurse! Enjoy this time when you’re working hard to prepare for the job you’ve
always wanted, because you’ll hate it when it finally gets here.” No one thinks
the job they choose will be a piece of cake, but they choose it for what they
will win.
I don’t suppose
I’ll sleep as much after the baby is born, or have the same figure, or have the
same privacy, or whatever else people say I apparently need to have a life. But
I will have a new little person who is my complete responsibility, who relies
on me for food and learning, who loves me, and who no one else has ever had influence
over. It will be completely unique to any experience I or any other person has
had. There will be days, I know, when I’m ready to believe all the disparaging
comments and say my life is over. Then I will remember this:
Proverbs 31:
10-31:
“Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.”
“Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.”
It is the
life I chose.
