Showing posts with label Influence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Influence. Show all posts

Friday, November 28, 2014

Thoughts On Young Dumbledore and WWII

I remember reading the last Harry Potter book in its entirety the day it came out. I've since read it probably five times, enjoying it more each time, and still discovering new things. I'm sure I wasn't the only person who was shocked (and maybe a little hurt) when I read about Dumbledore's teen and young adult years – the years he spent fawning over Grindelwald, succumbing to his influence and supporting the ideas of pure blood in the wizarding world. Although he hadn't shown any signs of hating muggles and “dirty bloods” before or after this time in his life, the idea that he had ever had such leanings was startling, and I was really disappointed.

In the midst of my shock, however, I found myself irritated with Harry for being so angry with Dumbledore's actions. I felt that it was unfair to expect so much of him when Harry himself hadn't ever been in the same position. Sure, he could say he wouldn't have acted the same, but how could he know for sure?

It reminds me a lot of how people react to Germany in WWII. This country seemed too quick to accept the influence of Hitler. Never mind how much he did to help Germany or the fact that he was like a balm to them when they were trying to recover themselves and their pride after WWI. Never mind his adeptness at speaking and seemingly harmless ease of influence.

Like Germany, Dumbledore was recovering from great loss, feeling abandoned and a new, frightening sense of responsibility. Like the people there, he was quick to come under the banner of someone who made him feel powerful again – someone who gave him a new purpose to live for. And like that country, he also came to recognize his faults and did his best to never be associated with the mistakes of his past. And, like so many other countries, Harry was quick to see fault in Dumbledore. Instead of seeing vulnerability, he saw weakness. Rather than accounting for the changes and improvements that were clear in Dumbledore's later life, he took offense at the past, taking pride in the assumption that he could never make the same mistake.

God forbid.

I don't think this similarity was lost on Rowling. In fact, I would guess it was intentional, though she hasn't said that outright. She has, however, pointed out that the fall of Grindelwald coincides with the downfall of Hitler in 1945. And let's not look over the fact that the character has a German name and was accused of causing great turmoil in all Europe.


I think there's an important lesson to be learned from this aspect of the Potter books, as well as from the parallel in history. We can't be quick to judge people's mistakes – especially when they are in a weakened state. Although there are people who rise above wrongful influences, they are not a majority. There are powerful people, waiting on the sidelines, watching for frailty, and no culture or country is guaranteed insusceptibility. 

Thursday, November 13, 2014

My Crazy Path to Mommyhood

Thanks to the influence of my mother, I don’t think there was anything I ever wanted to be more than a homemaker. The idea of keeping a home, husband, and children appealed to me in a way nothing else could, and I grew up with that mindset. When I graduated from high school with no marital prospects, I went to college mostly because I couldn’t think of anything else to do while I waited for my husband to appear.

Thankfully, he didn’t take long.

Shoot forward about a year and a half. I’m engaged, long distance, and I get one of those calls that every fiancĂ©e dreads: the “maybe we should wait” call.

Benny knew how much I wanted a family. It was one of the first personal things I ever shared with him. He had at least two more years of college after we married – perhaps more, if he decided to get a higher degree – and having a family when only one of us could work, and the one of us working could only manage part-time, because of chronic illness, seemed irresponsible. I was adamantly opposed to contraception, as well, so he knew that was off the table, and suggested we should postpone our wedding until he graduated.

Although I understood his reasoning, I resisted the suggestion. After all, we needed some time, I thought, to learn to live together before children, and there were ways outside of contraception that could keep pregnancy at bay. It was hard for me to say I would wait for two entire years. I was twenty-two at the time, and I had hoped to start my family at eighteen. As crazy as it may sound to a progressive ear, I felt like I had already wasted three years, and I was saying I would give up two more. It was a huge sacrifice – especially because I had done my research and was aware that my chronic illness could mean I would not be able to have children for as many years as most women; however, establishing my marriage was more important to me, and even if it was hard, I felt it was the right decision.

Less than a year later, we were married. I loved being married. It was a new layer of life I hadn’t known could exist, and there was a new peace. I was designed by God for that life, and for nearly six months, I was content to simply be Benny’s wife. It got a lot harder when we had a pregnancy scare. I had been out of sorts, and several people suggested to me that I might be pregnant. Although I wasn’t convinced, I bought a test. When the negative came up, I could tell Benny was relieved, and I was relieved for him. What would a pregnancy do to the rest of his college career?  At the same time, I was heartbroken. I had secretly hoped I was pregnant. I got in the shower and cried for awhile, and for quite some time I was low in spirits. Benny could tell and knew why. He was incredibly kind and understanding, giving me space to mourn the baby I had never carried. Although I normally wouldn’t dare to equate my feelings to that of a woman who  has suffered a miscarriage, that was how it felt. Thankfully, I had only shared the possibility with a few people.

It was hard not only because I wanted a baby so badly but because there was a lot of pressure for us to start our family. People who knew little of our situation would suggest that we should get started pretty soon – to not wait too long – and although we knew they weren’t trying to make things difficult, it was still painful to hear. You can have the best intentions and still hurt people.

Almost exactly one year later, Benny was nearing the end of his last school year. Since the beginning of our marriage, I had had random “nightmares” about getting pregnant before Benny graduated. By January 2014, Benny told me that if I did get pregnant and was able to keep my job most of the pregnancy, we could make it work. Although we still weren’t trying to have a baby, this was a huge stress relief. As though God was testing Benny’s sincerity, less than a month later, I was pregnant. I was absolutely unprepared and knew it. There were many decisions we had planned to make before starting a family, and now we had to make them relatively quickly.

One big decision was one I had been putting off: where to have the baby. My mother had given birth in the hospital for all her babies, and Benny’s mother had given birth at home. When Benny told me he thought I should consider homebirths, I thought he was crazy. It sounded dangerous and foreign. I hadn’t imagined giving birth outside of a hospital, and I told him I wasn’t comfortable with the idea at all but I would think about it and do some research.

When I found out I was pregnant, I hadn’t done any research and I hadn’t really considered it an option. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Benny, because I knew he wouldn’t support something without being completely comfortable with it, but I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I read two articles with opposing points of view on the subject – both of which were well argued but neither of which made me comfortable with making the final decision.

Since I was still unsure, I asked a doctor in the area to recommend a doctor and hospital for us. I figured she would best know the system in the area, and I knew she had similar values to us, so I felt comfortable going with whatever advice she gave. I was surprised when she told me she thought I would be better off with a midwife and homebirth or birth center, and she even went so far as to recommend one. For the first time, I considered it, but I wanted to ask someone else in the medical field. I asked my sister-in-law – a labour and delivery nurse – for her thoughts. She, too, expressed confidence in the idea of a homebirth, telling me upsides and downsides, what to look for in a midwife, and telling me where I could get more information.

After feeling like I had been assured by these people, I then asked my mother-in-law and one of my sisters-in-law about their experiences and opinions, knowing that they had had homebirths. Both of them stressed that I should do whatever I felt safest doing, and they talked to me about their own research.

At this point, I felt like I could take the extra step of actually meeting with the midwives recommended to me. I called to make an appointment, not yet completely assured it was what I wanted to do but sure it was a safe option, and I would be free to change my mind at any time.

When I went in for my appointment, it was immediately clear that I wasn’t stepping into a weird world of mantras and amulets but a place of medical business. It was homey, certainly, but was clearly not granola or avoiding the medical aspect of the profession. Not only this, the midwife I met with was strikingly like my mother, and I felt safe and assured by her no-holds-barred approach and bluntness when I asked questions. Although it had been a foreign concept to me, and knowing I would probably get a lot of flak from people who disapproved of my decision, I settled on a homebirth, and I never questioned my decision from that point.

Pregnancy was both hard and good. A lot of my fibromyalgia symptoms dissipated over the period of the pregnancy. My morning sickness during the first trimester was nasty, though after that I had few serious problems until the third trimester. It was a peaceful pregnancy.

When it finally came to the labour, choosing a homebirth sure seemed like the right idea. It started so fast (minute long contractions, one to two minutes apart within two hours of it starting), I’m sure I wouldn’t have wanted to travel to the hospital. The midwives were there shortly after Benny called, letting us quietly (well, I guess they were quiet) labour, keeping an eye on my progress and monitoring the baby – our personal lifeguards in case anything went awry, giving advice and encouragement. When it was all over, I had a baby in my arms: sweet, little Eleanora.

I’m a mother! It’s still a surprise to me, sometimes. In a way, it’s a change… but at the same time, it feels completely natural. I’ve been preparing for it most of my life, and holding a small child in my arms, nursing her, caring for her, was what I was created to do. Already, I see little changes every day, and I know it will be over sooner than I can imagine. Getting here was hard, and I know the difficulties don’t end after labour, but I feel assured by these three things:

God created me for this.
My mother prepared me for this.
My husband supports me in this.


That’s all I need. 

Monday, October 6, 2014

As A Christian, Can I Panic About Ebola?

It's a situation I've been watching carefully, and it only recently seems to be something people are noticing. Studying epidemics is a sort of hobby of mine and has been for many years. I’ve been fascinated to study how different cultures – especially religions – react.

Take a very short trip in history with me, for a moment, to 1918, when the Spanish influenza was swallowing the globe. Only Australia remained untouched, as it cut off contact with everyone else, and it is estimated that anywhere from 50 million to100 million people died. The majority of those people were in the prime of their lives; the elderly and children seemed strangely untouched. Whole villages were wiped out. Cities became forced to bury people in mass graves because they were dying too fast to build caskets or dig proper graves. It was a dark time, and the line “bring out your dead” doesn’t seem so funny when you realize people were literally dropping their loved ones outside their doors, hoping against all hope that they hadn’t been exposed long enough to become ill themselves. All social events were banned, but one group of people stood out as defying this law: Christians.



Gathering together on Sunday, everyone wearing masks, many churches would set up chairs in the middle of the street and have their services. At a time when people were abandoning their own families and shutting themselves away, believers were finding strength in one another. This isn’t to say they were better than everyone else – because there were people who did amazing things without this form of faith – but they knew their hope lay in something other than remaining healthy. I have no doubt that there was fear in their hearts, wondering if they would die next, or a spouse, or a child, or a parent. It’s not as though faith makes things less scary, because they are scary, but it allows us to focus on something other than fear. We wouldn’t stand in the way of a rampaging elephant herd as a show of faith, so how should be think about this situation?

This is how I think about it: things like this - where one is so completely out of control - you feel more acutely, especially if you like order and predictability; however, there is nothing that works quite like an epidemic for bringing people face to face with eternity. It forces them to actively choose God or themselves in a way most wouldn't, because this culture is so lackadaisical and would normally enjoy the lukewarm feelings of disinterest or indifference. In a sort of strange way, I think these things are beautiful. It's amazing to see how striking the church can be in "such a time as this," where we can be unafraid and aware of the glory that awaits us if God chooses to take us up to Him. Even as one is completely aware of the danger, one can also be aware that – ultimately – our hope lies in something quite different than the next breath we take.

I'm thinking specifically of Romans 8:5-27, especially the last two paragraphs:
"For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

"But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His. And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.

"Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.

"Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God."

2nd Timothy 2:7 also comes to mind: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”


We are in a fallen world, and our gut reaction will be one of fear; however, God gives us strength in Himself so that we can treat our fears differently and reach the world in its crisis, bringing others to share in our hope.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Prostitution of Immodesty-Explaining the Battle of Lust

Modesty in clothing is one of those subjects of which I am most passionate. Let me bluntly explain why: I struggle with lust, and my husband does as well. This is one of the things in which we have fought together. It has put both the most strain and the most camaraderie in our marriage. I think it is the duty of women like me to explain the importance of modesty as best we can, so that other men and women can be understand on a less superficial level why it is vital to the life of Christian women.

First, allow me to explain how a person lusts.
Lust is not the immediate, uncontrollable, physical response to a man or women who is attractive. It is the purposeful dwelling on how they look (their breasts, legs, figure, etc.) and deciding to wonder what it would be like to have a sexual experience with them. This can be as mild as imagining them naked or more extreme – such as a forced sexual experience. It is to have mental power over them, and a lusting person almost always believes he or she could approach the object of their lust and have exactly what they desire.
Imagine building a habit of lust. Every person you see who is attractive or dressed sexually stays in your thoughts, fantasies, and you create opportunities to be around the person. You habitually “use” such people in your mind, without their knowledge, to maintain a sexual high. You begin to look for and hope to see people who are more easily fantasized about. You look for the short skirts, the shorts, the tight clothes, the unbuttoned blouse or shirt. You crave seeing people to arouse you. Once you’ve built this habit, it takes months to kill it, and you can never safely look at people again. You have to fight the desire, avoid the circumstances you once created, and try to recreate what you look for in people.

Having explained this, perhaps it makes more sense why I am so adamant that men and women do their best to be modest. When a person makes the decision to fight against lusting, it means changing a mental habit; as any habit, being forced to deal with what tempts you every day is exhausting, and the sexualized body is much harder to escape than cigarettes and alcohol. 

This is a personal fight for me, and it additionally is a passion for me because I fought to be modest before I married. Why should that make a difference? It means I won over my husband without the need to attract him sexually. Not only that, I fought for him. I still fight for him, and it hurts me when women only seem to care about getting superficial attention. Instead, it’s the easy way. Sometimes they say it’s because they need to do so to feel beautiful. I think they just aren’t creative enough to be modestly beautiful.



Though some may argue that scripture never mentions specific ways of being modest, it does say not to do anything which causes your brother to sin. In short, if you dress immodestly, you are sinning. Do you want to dress modestly? Ask someone (of your own gender or someone to whom you’re related) how you can. They will be able to tell you what makes keeping a pure mind more difficult. They know the difference between beauty and seduction.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Clothes to Live On

Recently, when we had a couple sisters come to visit, we had a time when we asked random questions for everyone to answer – as a way to have fun getting to know one another better. One of Benny’s questions was: “If you had several hundred dollars, what would you buy?” I said I would sell all my clothes and buy a new wardrobe – with clothes that actually fit, colours I like, and having fewer actual items but more diversity in types of clothing. I have a specific style I like, though I don’t often dress that way, because I can’t talk myself into buying more clothes when I already have some, even if they don’t fit well or aren’t a style I like.

As often happens, I dwelled on my answer the next day, wondering if it were possible. It occurred to me that it was absolutely possible. For several hours, I sketched out a list I entitled: “Clothes to live on.” In it, I specified exactly what types I would have and in what colour and quantity. Here are a few examples:
5 blouses (white, black, red, brown, navy)
5 skirts (denim, 2 Sunday, white, black)
3 slacks (brown, black, grey)

I was detailed, down to the amount of shoes (5!), keeping a maximum of five in anything, and less than that as much as I could. My aim was to have a basic colour theme, style, and to downsize as much as possible. I was incredibly excited about my list and showed it to Benny, practically gushing about how it would be beneficial, and telling him I planned to actually go through with it. How? By going through everything I owned and keeping only what was on my list. If I didn’t have something, I would keep something close to that with the plan to later replace it with what I actually want. Whenever I buy clothes from now on, they are not being acquired; they are replacing.

Why am I so excited about this? There are several reasons. First, many of the things I have fit me poorly. I’ve lost 50 pounds in the past two years – fourty of that fairly quickly – so much of what I have has been too big and more of a frustration than a help. Second, I don’t like buying things I feel I don’t need. If I get rid of everything I don’t need, I’ll only be buying when I truly need something. This means I’ll be buying less, I won’t feel bad about spending more on good quality, and I’ll only own things I absolutely love. Lastly, I’ve often felt badly for owning things in excess when I know they could be of use to others. When I’m selling or giving away my excess, I’m challenging myself to be less materialistic, and I’m helping other people.

When I told Benny about my plan, he agreed it was a good idea, and he decided to join me! He wrote a separate list of “Clothes to live on,” with effectively the same boundaries I had used. His reasons for wanting to do so were essentially the same as mine, and we both felt it could be a rewarding and freeing endeavour. And perhaps we'll find we can get away with even less (I secretly hope so).


All that said, we’ve already begun sorting through clothes deciding what is worth trying to sell, what to throw away, and what to keep. We also can veto if someone is about to throw something away his/her spouse especially likes to see him/her wearing. Some things are harder to give up than others, but we’re excited to follow through to the end. 

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Things I Wish People Had Told Me Before I Married

I will be honest with you; not many people told me things that were actually helpful before I got married. It became really easy to identify who would give me what sort of advice. The ones who had gone through several serious marital (or nearly marital) relationships would “wish me luck” with a sarcasm that said their relationships had been poisonous, so I should expect that too. The ones who had worked through a marriage that was difficult always said that the rose-coloured glasses would come off, and I was in for a rough life. People who were happy in their marriage were most genuine in wishing me a blessed future, usually saying – quite honestly – that marriage is hard, sometimes, but also a great joy. When I married, the advice had been so inconsistent, I wasn’t sure what to expect, and I found that all of the advice and none of it truly applied to us. There were some things, however, that I wished people had told me before I married; since people are marrying every day, I wanted to share these things and hopefully help others either about to be married, new to marriage, or perhaps even wrinkling. The list is, of course, determined by my personal experiences, so it won’t apply exclusively.

1.      People say that if you act in the way you want your partner to act, they will change. I think a lot of women translate this to “if I always serve my husband well in this action, he will serve me well in ____” Sorry. It doesn’t work that way. You have to actually say: “I consider this service to be an equal to this service. Even though it’s hard for me to ____, I do that out of love for you. I know ______ is hard for you, but could you sacrifice a little in honour of mine?” It isn’t selfish to ask for what you want as long as you’re willing to allow your spouse to ask for what he or she wants.

2.      We’ve all heard that we shouldn’t nag and we need to love our spouses in spite of faults, but you occasionally need to lecture each other. You don’t have parents, anymore, who can tell you your motives are off, your actions are childish, or you’re doing something wrong. The hard thing is to choose those lectures well, and I will emphasize the word sparingly. You might only need to say one sentence, depending on how well you phrase and communicate what you’re saying. Make sure you aren’t being accusatory, have the right motives, and be certain that you’re actually pointing out something that will make a permanent difference in your lives. You don’t need to lecture your spouse about not doing the dishes or remembering a promise, because those are temporary and can be fixed gently. You may need to call attention to ways that your spouse handles stress or manipulates you, with or without realizing.

3.      And here’s the one that might make people uncomfortable, but I’m going to say it anyway, because it has been vital to my own marriage and is applicable to all marriages: have sex as often as the spouse with the highest sex drive wants to have sex. Better yet, if one of you feels the inclination, it had better happen. This will be really hard for the person with the lower sex drive. There is no way around it, because you are two people with two different brains and two different bodies. Why do I emphasize this so strongly? Because infidelity is one of the top reasons for divorce. Adultery on the side of the man is a little more complicated than that (my next point), but in general, why shouldn’t you err on the safe side? Paul says people should marry so that they don’t have to “burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:9). If your spouse is interested in sex and you say you aren’t interested or you’re tired, they will desire a release elsewhere, even if that wouldn’t be their first inclination. Obviously, the first inclination was to share passion with you! It is a sacrifice, but it’s worth it.

4.      Men aren’t made like women. Relationships to women are permanent, lasting, and are maintained even over long distances. To men, they are temporary, and it’s not so important to keep friends as to have them. When a woman moves from Arkansas to Colorado, she’s going to keep in touch with all her friends and probably make new ones. A guy will just make new friends and often not worry too much about past ones. All this to say: most men aren’t unfaithful because they want to be. Because men and women view relationships so differently, I would imagine that many couples deal with unfaithfulness on some level or other, whether it be looking at pictures of other women, watching pornography, wanting other women (fleetingly or not), or sleeping with them. This is something that women, as wives, teach their husbands – to value the relationship and remember that it is meant to be maintained over time. And they will probably have to do it multiple times. Wives, it is crushing, and it will break your heart, but it isn’t because he doesn’t love you or want you. He just needs to learn to constantly remind himself that he chose you, and by choosing you, he chose to forsake all others. And you can help by reminding him and being understanding and loving when he slips.

There are other things, of course, that have been helpful, such as “Don’t expect your spouse to read your mind.” Oh, yes. I needed that one. Or, my personal favourite: “your spouse will do things that drive you crazy. Get over it.” Essentially, marriage is hard in that people are selfish beings. When you aim to serve your spouse in your marriage, it seems like every hardship is smoothed over as a result of service itself. If something is hard, it’s probably because one of you is holding on to something and refusing to step out of the “safe” or “comfortable” zone. Once you recognize that, you can attack a problem by seeking out whatever may be holding you back and fixing it.


And speaking of service, I should fix my husband’s lunch. 

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Confession in the Church and Why It's Important

James 5:16: “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”

I’ve been thinking about this verse the past week because of some things going on in my life – mainly because it was brought up during a Bible study. Confessions can be a touchy subject. We would rather not unload all our issues for other Christians to hear, thus maiming our image of perfection. Frankly, I’m not sure we always care to hear about what other Christians are struggling with, either. This is a sad truth, because we are hurting ourselves and one another.

Just to be clear, I’m not talking about confession to a priest. Although there may be a time for that, the verse I referenced is talking about the church as a whole. It also wouldn’t make sense, in terms of being able to pray for one another, to talk about our sins in secret. The whole purpose of confessing to others is so we can say: “Hey, I’ve really struggled with this sin, and it’s making my Christian walk difficult,” and know that not only will our brothers and sisters in Christ pray for us, but they will be there to support and love us. Maybe we could even keep one another better accountable, specifically asking, on a regular basis: “How has your fight against ____ been going?” There are many advantages to this way of communicating sin.

First, it reminds us that we all struggle with things – that we are, in a sense, equal. I remember confessing a sin to Benny, and he was relieved to realize that I wasn’t any more perfect than he was. If we could always see sin as something that everyone deals with, we wouldn't feel so alone.

Second, it doesn’t allow us to hide and bury our sins, which makes us responsible for amending. This is important, because hiding sin is dangerous, even if we confess it to God. Sometimes, we can confess to Him without really having the incentive to change. When we confess aloud to others, it makes us accountable for change.

Lastly, admitting you have a problem is a big part of recovering. I realize that’s a well known idea, but it’s well known because it’s so true. When I confess a struggle, it becomes easier to deal with, because I’m more aware of the ways I struggle and can be more on guard in avoiding them.

What does this mean for me? I wish it meant that the Christians in my life would understand why this is so important and begin gathering for this purpose. I already confess, daily, to my husband, but sometimes I wish I could admit to others the problems I face. It is uplifting to be loved by people despite your faults, and I yearn to share in the struggles of others. Why? Scripture commands this of me, and rightly so.

Galatians 6:2: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Waiting for the Wedding Night

A very good friend of mine posted this link, on Facebook, with the following comment:

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/09/14/staying-celibate-before-marriage-was-best-thing-ive-ever-done/

"This article is an excellent example of how the social construct of "virginity" can turn someone into a holier-than-thou asshole. It is also my expert opinion that this guy has a small penis."

Now, I rarely get into arguments on Facebook. It's not that I never write anything offensive, because I do quite a bit, I just don't see the point of making people angry when they already know, by the way I live, that I don't see eye to eye with them. Most of my friends are from the secular atmophere, and I've come to accept them, despite their faults, and show them Christ by my love. They know I accept them - not their sin - and it is this fact which has earned me friends of all colours. This type of article and sarcastic comment I would usually pass over, ignoring the inner contradictions, but this time, the issue was too important to me to say nothing. This was what I replied:

"First, I just want to say that this guy is an idiot. The article is badly written and offensive for the sake of being offensive rather than trying to simply explain why waiting is worth it. I mean, I waited; Benny waited… and our sexual relationship is anything but awkward. The wedding night itself wasn’t even airbrushed by anxiety or nervousness about potentially bad performance – on either side – because we were so excited to give ourselves completely to one another. The fact that we could enjoy that union without even considering anything like negative “Sex with _____was so much more satisfying” or even positive: “Man, he’s way better than ____.” We didn’t have a set of sexual standards in our heads that the other person had to meet, and it was a relief to both of us that we would never be measured, sexually, based upon the experience of the other.

Also, we are both so eager to please one another that we never think: “Wow, I wish I had more experience with lots of people so that I knew a lot of technique.” Actually, just having one another has meant that we are learning the needs, impulses, and pleasures of the other. Every day, we learn how to better please one another. It’s a really awesome gift, and I’m very glad I waited. I mean, even if I had just slept with Benny before we married, there would have been no awesome wedding night, because all the anticipation of waiting and the build of tension is lost.

I’m not condemning people who don’t wait, contrary to this guy. I mean, I think it’s a wonderful idea, and I think everyone should wait, but I understand that there are a lot of things that contribute to loss of virginity, and I can’t shun people for being human. I’ve done poorly in other areas that I’m not proud of, so I definitely am not better than them.

Mostly, this is what I think: sex is awesome, and it’s worth waiting for the perfect moment."

Monday, June 11, 2012

Problems During "Coffee With Jesus"

I had a hard time deciding whether to write this or not, because I know there are a lot of people who really enjoy the comic strips “Coffee With Jesus.” Ever since they started to appear in my facebook newsfeed, I quickly found that they made me feel incredibly uncomfortable – and not in the good “thank you, God, for showing me the error of my ways and giving me the chance to improve” way. Instead, they seemed like closet hypocrisy.

I can already hear the protests. “Woah, Sarah. Aren’t you taking this a bit too seriously?” I don’t think so. You might argue that these are just joking around and that if I can’t take a joke, I should butt out. Well… that’s not the problem. All people know that there are some things you don’t joke about. Some jokes are bad in certain situations or with certain people (like wearing fur to a PETA meeting), and some jokes are never funny (such as jokes about spousal unfaithfulness and other various jokes with sexual connotations). I can get a joke. In fact, I probably have a greater range of humour than most people, but I know that some things shouldn’t be put into a circumstance that makes them lighter than they actually are. I try not to joke about serious spiritual matters, and I never want to make light of God.

Problem 1: “Coffee with Jesus” as a “comic” makes light of things which should not be made light.

Another person might say: “Well, sometimes you have to get a person’s attention.” I understand that sometimes you need a left hook, but this particular strip uses the left hook of offense. They are written to be offensive. If you don’t believe me, look up the earliest strips. They even deleted some of the oldest because they were too offensive. They may be more subtle these days, but they haven’t changed all that much. I realize that sometimes we offend people with our beliefs, but I deem that to offend anyone on purpose is a sin. Check out Matthew 17:24-7. This is the conversation between Jesus and Peter when Jesus says to pay taxes “lest we offend.” And in Romans fourteen, Paul talks about not doing anything which will cause your brother to sin or offend him. To offend a person is to cause strife, pain, and resentment. None of these things bring a person closer to you. If people are always feeling attacked by you, you have lost your witness.

Problem 2: “Coffee with Jesus” as a tool to teach by means of offense actually undermines your ability to witness.

The big argument: “It’s good to learn this way, because it brings Jesus down to our level so we can understand Him better.” I am all for learning more about Jesus. That is incredibly important in the life of any Christian; however, since when has anyone benefitted from trying to be equal to God? You might not look at it that way, but think about the way that these comics take Christ out of context. I’m sure that if He were on earth, he might very well drink coffee with us, discuss whatever we wanted, but do you think He would discuss things in such cavalier ways? When He was on earth the first time, He took witnessing quite seriously, and I don’t recall Him ever joking with someone: “Well, you just doubled your time in purgatory.” These strips portray Jesus stripped of the reverence and grace which He portrayed over two thousand years ago. Sure, He was sometimes angry and offensive, but He was a Man of grace and the comics do not portray Him in that light.

Problem 3: “Coffee with Jesus” puts Jesus level in status with me and portrays Him as a man without grace.

Those are my basic problems with the new “I’m a cool Christian” craze. Things pop up all the time that bother me, but this one actually gave me pause and made me concerned about the type of God we are portraying. I don’t think it’s wise to flaunt Jesus in any context, even if the intentions are well founded. I think these could be dangerous and undermining.

That’s all.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Overcoming Presuppositions of Satan in Paradise Lost

The person of Satan has long been one of great controversy. He might be imagined as the red cartoon with a pitchfork, long red tail, and horns. Others might say there is no Satan. To others, he is the ultimate enemy - a menace who will do anything possible to cause God pain. To John Milton, he seemed to be a curiosity, as is clear in his poem Paradise Lost. One might ask what Milton’s purpose was in writing such a descriptive account of Satan’s story, as he certainly took the time to create this epic tale. There must be a purpose.

Whatever his purpose, this epic tale shows a hero who causes much controversy among the critics. Some critics say that there is a definite push for us to feel pity for Satan as he seems to sink lower and lower into himself. Opposing critics argue that there is no real indication of this.

In the beginning of Paradise Lost, we feel a sense of defiance from Satan, which is expected, considering what he has so recently done:

“The infernal Serpent; he it was whose guile stirred up with envy and revenge, deceived the mother of mankind, what time his pride had cast him out from Heaven” (1.34-37).

Yet this defiance does not seem so complete as it might: “So spake the apostate Angel, though in pain vaunting aloud, but wracked with deep despair” (1.125-126). This seems to indicate that Satan, although certainly not repentant of the celestial fight, is regretful of all that has taken place. It also seems that he does his best to hide these regrets from his hierarchy of followers. This sign of weakness might cause someone to feel as though it is only right to pity Satan:

“Milton’s presentation of him (Satan) is a magnificent poetical achievement which engages the attention and excites the admiration of the reader. On the other hand, it may mean that the real being… is or ought to be an object of admiration and sympathy, conscious or unconscious, on the part of the poet or his readers of both” (Lewis 94).

This idea of sympathizing with God’s enemy is appalling to many. Lewis himself did not believe this to be Milton’s purpose, though he did point out, as in the afore text, that the way Milton evoked this reaction could have been an unconscious thing.

There are other critics believe that there is a clear attempt to discredit Satan in every sense:

“Any one of his ‘glorious’ speeches will suffice to show the false high style of Satan, dissembler and buffoon… A comic element is seen thus in his self deception; Milton is really so unsubtle that Satan becomes a caricature of the pompous braggart” (Shawcross 30+31).

Both sides of the argument are seen, here. Was Milton’s purpose to suggest pity for Satan or is there really no evidence of anything but malice? Surely Milton would have been clear; however, it is possible to look at Paradise Lost not as an absolute of either argument but actually a progression; Satan begins as a newly fallen angel, not fully evil, but he gradually evolves into the Satan whom we so easily recognize as a devil.

There is no real doubt that Satan is an evil being. He shows clear evidence of this throughout the entirety of Paradise Lost: “Seduce them to our party, that their God may prove their foe, and with repenting hand abolish his own works” (2.68-70). His clear purpose is to cause strife between God and His people, perhaps not so much to hurt Man but to hurt God through man. It is power that corrupts Satan, and much like Byron’s character Manfred, Satan defies the power of any authority but his own:

“While other creatures can forget their mission and live casually within the bounds established for them, Satan, God-obsessed, confronts his limits at every turn: every aspect of the crated order that he encounters provokes knowledge of his antagonism” (Toliver 56).

Contrary to his own character, however, Satan expects to be an authoritative figure to those angels who have followed him: “…Nor did they not perceive the evil plight in which they were, or the fierce pains not feel, yet to their General’s voice they soon obeyed Innumerable” (1.335-338).

Even though we never actually read a passage where Satan places himself, verbally, above the others, there is a clear leadership which they all respect. Perhaps it is because of his leadership in the war against Heaven or maybe they just fear him. Either way, there is very clearly Satan above the others: “Satan exalted sat, by merit raised to that bad eminence; and, from despair thus uplifted beyond hope, aspires beyond thus high, insatiate to pursue vain war in Heaven” (2.5-9). This authority never seems to waver.

The way that Satan regards his children is something that we can see change. When he first meets Sin and Death, he appears repulsed: “On the other side, incensed with indignation, Satan stood unterrified” (2. 707-709). His daughter has to explain to him how she, Sin, and their son, Death, came to be, since it appears that he does not remember.

This meeting could be seen as the turning point for Satan. Although he had certainly shown signs of what his nature was soon to be, it is in this passage that he really steps away from the all that was good and admits the will he has for his own life:

“Alone and without guide, half lost, I seek what readiest path leads where your gloomy bounds confine with Heaven… Direct my course: Directed, no mean recompense it brings to your behoof, if I that region lost, all usurpation thence expelled, reduce to her original darkness… and once more erect the standard there of ancient Night; yours be the advantage all, mine the revenge! (2.975-977+980-987).
By the end of Paradise Lost, Satan openly claims his children, even sending them to Heaven as representatives:

“Thus the Prince of Darkness answered glad: ‘Fair daughter, and thou, son, and grandchild both, high proof ye now have given to be the race of Satan (For I glory in the name Antagonist of Heaven’s Almighty King)’” (5.383-387).

He no longer repels Sin and Death but welcomes them to his legions, prepared to use them for his own glory and what he hopes will later be the downfall of God.

Satan only becomes worse. His actions, damnable from the start, become worse and worse. The hesitance to ruin the perfection and beauty he sees is shortened with each occurrence. In book four, there is still a great tension, as though Satan is still not quite sure of what evil he is capable. He continues to be confused by the transformation that has taken place: “Satan, now first enflamed with rage, came down… Now conscience wakes despair that slumbered, wakes up the bitter memory of what he was, what is, and what must be worse” (4. 9+23-26). This passage makes it quite apparent that Satan is recognizing his own degradation. This progression gives him unrest. Perhaps it is this that leads him to deny God as his creator:

“The Apostate… thus replied: ‘That we were formed, then, say’st thou? and the work of secondary hands, by task transferred from Father to his Son? Strange point and new! Doctrine which we know whence learnt; who saw when this creation was?’” (5.852-857).

This seems to say that we cannot just believe something because we are told it to be true. This quote is commented on by C.S. Lewis, who points out the absurdity of what is being said:
“If a creature is silly enough to try to prove that it was not created, what is more natural than for it to say, ‘Well, I wasn’t there to se it being done’? Yet what more futile, since in this admitting ignorance of its own beginnings it proves that those beginnings lay outside itself” (97+98).

Satan denouncing the creation of himself by God marks another decline in the progression downward. It is another way in which Satan tries to become his own deity, putting himself on the same level, if not above, God. He begins to use his abilities as an angel to his own advantage, which shocks the celestial angels: “ ‘O Heaven! That such resemblance of the Highest should yet remain, where faith and realty remain not’” (6. 114-116).

His wrongdoings provoke Michael, the archangel, into speaking against him, as they fight for honor: “ ‘Author of Evil, unknown till thy revolt, unnamed in Heaven, now plenteous, as thou seest, these acts of hateful strife - hateful to all, though heaviest, by just measure, on thyself and thy adherents’” (6.262-266). It is when Michael wounds Satan that he realizes he is not of the same ilk of God he so wished to be: “Shame to find himself not matchless, and his pride humbled by such rebuke, so far beneath his confidence to equal God in power” (6.341-344).

There is even evidence of a physical change. Satan is often described as he once was:
“ ‘Think not… thy shape the same, or undiminished brightness, to be known as when thou stood’st in Heaven upright and pure. That glory then, when thou no more wast good, departed from thee; and thou resembles now thy sin and place of doom obscure and foul’” (4.835-840).

We see, especially in book two, that Satan is described as glorious - a beautiful, magnificent thing to behold; yet, his appearance, as he uses it to deceive Eve, seems to become tinged with the evil that he is trying to give a foothold: “Thence up he flew, and on the Tree of Life… sat like a cormorant (Emphasis added), yet not true life thereby regained, but sat devising death to them who lived” (4.194-198). His descriptions are more evidently evil, and though his ability to follow through with his plan to ruin Man might falter, his intentions are never in doubt: “Back to the thicket slunk the guilty serpent” (9.784-785); however, we do notice that although he changes in the perception of the ethereal, Eve cannot see through his deception so easily:

“The Serpent wise, or not restrained as we are or not obeying, hath eaten of the fruit, and is become, not dead as we are threatened, but thence forth endued with human voice and human sense, reasoning to admiration and with me persuasively hath so prevailed” (9. 867-872).

Should we suppose that the human eyes cannot see through Satan‘s deception? No. It was not only Eve who did recognize him for what he was. The guards whom Satan confused also did not recognize him. They were unable to perceive the double meanings or to comprehend the way Satan twisted words to mean something other than they had been said to mean: “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden?’” (Gen.3.1).

In Paradise Regained, we get a picture of Satan which is still deceiving and even more sinister:

“Now an ancient man in rural weeds, following, as seemed, the quest of some stray ewe, or withered sticks to gather, which might serve against winter’s day when winds blow keen, to warm him wet returned from field at eve, he saw approach, who first with curious eye perused him” (1.314-320).

There is this physical degradation that we see taking place, and not only us - the characters have also pointed it out. This is heavy evidence that there is a marked change in Satan that is worth taking the time to notice. If nothing else, the admiration he receives from Sin and Death should worry us: “Sin opening, who thus now to Death began: ‘O Son, why sit we here, each other viewing idly, while Satan, our great author, thrives in other worlds, and happier seat provides for us, his offspring dear?’” (10. 234-238).

Probably the greatest evidence that one might use to say that Satan has not developed is the way his emotions play out. In book four, he is clearly feeling bitter about his position compared to that of the other angels:

“I, therefore, I alone, first undertook to wing the desolate abyss, and spy this new-created World, whereof in Hell fame is not silent, here in hope to find better abode, and my afflicted Powers to settle here on Earth, or in mid Air; though for possession put to try once more what thou and thy gay legions dare against, whose easier business were to serve their Lord high up in Heaven, with songs to hymn his throne, and practiced distances to cringe, not fight” (935-945).

These words of bitterness are counted by another angel, who makes reference to Satan’s unrest while he was still welcome in Heaven: “And thou, sly hypocrite, who now wouldst seem Patron of liberty, who more than thou once fawned, and cringed, and servilely adored Heaven’s awful Monarch?” (4.957-960). This bitterness and anger seems to always hover, controlled as well as can be, beneath the surface of Satan’s every word and action. When he tempts Eve, it may not be so obvious in appearance, but the undertone of his words and actions cannot hide his true purpose: To destroy:
“Satan revives, collects his host, decides upon revenge, escapes upon revenge, escapes from Hell, ascends through Chaos, comes to the Universe, to the Earth, to Eden, to Paradise, to Adam and Eve. Each step brings him closer to his intended prey and heightens the sense of impending danger… His attack on Eve’s fancy has come to infect her will; we realize the Fall itself is imminent” (Ogden 316+320).

This sense of impending doom that Ogden describes is one of the bigger reasons some believe Satan is evil from the start; however, it might be good to consider that people often read with presuppositions. We know, even if we have limited knowledge of the scriptures, that Satan will tempt Eve, and we know that she will succumb; however, if one were to read this poem without having any knowledge of who Satan is, it is quite possible that Satan would be seen quite differently: As a fallen angel who progressively becomes blacker with the bitterness he can’t seem to choke. If one read it also without any knowledge of God, he or she might even find Satan justified in his actions (Do we really see evidence that he was not mistreated while in Heaven?). Sadly, we would be hard-pressed to find anyone with no knowledge of Satan or God.

Milton created a masterpiece with Paradise Lost. He took a risk by expounding on a story that is well known. He risked not only the possible anger of those who could not believe he had the gall to take such liberties, but he also risked that people might come to the poem with presuppositions, not taking the story of Satan as though it were of just another character. If Satan were called John, and we really believed him to be only John, we would spend the first four books yelling ‘Don’t do it!’ Satan never receives this good will, however, because the reader knows who and what he is; he is an immediate threat. This is not a weak point on the part of Milton. He was very clear in his writing and the way he presented Satan. It is the reader who must come to the story with an open mind. By no means are we going to find Satan the unfortunate angel who did all he could to do right, by the end of the poem, but we do find that he is not immediately the enemy. Milton gave us a beautiful illustration of the dangers that can come to those who put themselves above God and fight Him for that place - the disintegration of that creature’s morals and character. Satan is the ultimate tragic hero whose strength as a character is lost within the conjecture of the knowledgeable reader. We should remember, as we approach such a story as this, to keep an open mind and be ready for whatever journey the creator chooses. To truly understand and appreciate the strength of a story such as that in Paradise Lost, we must be willing to leave our history at the door and look at it with newborn eyes.

Intolerance and Love Don't Share A Bed

It’s one of those nights where I can’t sleep, because there is too much on my mind.

As some know, my biggest pet peeve is intolerance. It’s not something I advertise too much, because there is a lot of it, and I mean A LOT of it. What sort of intolerance am I thinking about? All sorts, but mostly I mean intolerance of another person’s religion/belief system. That’s a loaded phrase, yes, but has anyone else noticed how quickly some people tear down others who don’t believe like they do?

I remember once having a debate with someone whose beliefs were opposite of my own. Instead of arguing fairly and defending himself with knowledge, he instead ridiculed me because I was a ‘savage’ American and called me intolerant. This, needless to say, pressed the wrong button. I told him that I would not try to defend what I believed if he was so unwilling to put himself on the same level as me. If I had been in any way insulting of him, I wouldn’t have cared that he accused me of intolerance; however, I had done my best to defend what I was saying by quoting his own doctrine, and I was careful to never argue about him - only what he believed. This did not go over very well.

This is all to show that I see people in two parts: As a person and the way they live (Their doctrine). I am able to separate the two and not let them interfere with my contact with that person. For example: I will not let the fact that a person I know is gay interfere with me being a friend to that person. Isn’t the purpose of a Christian’s life to show love to men? I don’t think God specified and gave certain personality traits of people we should minister to. I have read nowhere in God’s word that I am to hate Muslims, Homosexuals, Thieves, etc.… I understand that I should not follow in their beliefs, but God does not teach intolerance.

Where am I coming from? A man once asked me if I hated him because he didn’t believe what I did. I was shocked that he could even think that, but he explained to me that he had received that reaction from other ‘Christians.’ This, quite frankly, angered me. I have heard similar stories of people with bad pasts being shunned in churches because they were ‘sinners.’ I want to go to that church and say, “Hey! I’m sure that you were born perfect and have every right to stick your nose up in the air!” Oh my GOODNESS people! Are we so wrapped in our own bubbles that we can’t see the world is hungry for love and acceptance?! I can’t even bring myself to call people who are so intolerant Christian’s. They are creating a stereotype for other people to put all Christians into. This is wrong, and it makes me angry. I should not have to defend my love of other people. I don’t care if someone is from a completely different world. I will love that person with as much unconditional love as God permits. Since God is omnipotent, I’m sure I won’t run out of it any time soon. I never want people to say I am intolerant. I am accepting of all just as they are.

If every Christian applied this idea to the way they lived, there wouldn’t be this stereotype for Christians to fight. People should know that we love them. If they did, perhaps then they would listen to us.

Another raving sermon from me to you. I hope this doesn’t offend anyone. It just is a topic that is very important and real to me. I want to be real with people… I hope you do too.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Compassion and Integrity

How is the chief end of Man to be accomplished? (I do not feel the need to be politically correct, here). What is the chief end of Man? As many in the church have probably heard at least once, the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. In layman's terms: This should be the goal of a man's life.

I was recently having a conversation with my friend, David, about the legacy that a person leaves behind. I was commenting on the disappointment I sometimes felt at being recognized for the things I could do rather than the way I lived. I mean, yes, I can sing pretty well... I'm good with special needs children... I'm a hard worker. So David posed this question: What did I want people to remember about me when I was gone? What legacy did I want to leave behind? I told him the following: I want to be known for the passionate love I have for people. I want to be known for my honesty, compassion, and integrity.

As I thought about this to myself, this week, I found myself wondering if those following things really are meant to be my legacy. Sure, it would be nice to have people think well of me, but is that what God wants? Does He really care? When applying the exact characteristics I mentioned, the answer is yes and no. Yes, God wants us to leave behind an example of goodness - An example of His Son. No, it should not simply be our legacy. If I am known, when I die, as this person who could love so deeply and live with such integrity, it should be because of Who I lived in honour of. To glorify God, we live in the glorious, mirror image of His Son.

Now, the hard part. You think living righteously is hard, trying actually enjoying yourself! Okay - so it really shouldn't be that hard. In fact, I find it quite easy to enjoy God. This might mean different things for different people. For me, to enjoy God is to live with rapturous joy in the blessings He has provided me. Sometimes, I revel in the beautiful earth He has given me. People often tease me of my obsession with clouds... I love them because, to me, they boldly declare the wonders of God. Sometimes, I bask in the company of people that God has placed around me. I may not talk much, but just to be around people I love fills me with inexpressible joy. Sometimes, I sit in His sanctuary, wherever it may be at the moment (For Jesus has provided many forms of a sanctuary), and spend time in His Word. To enjoy God, enjoy what He has given you! Do not question Him, asking why He would give you something you do not deserve. Is that not like apologizing profusely? Praise the Lord for His gifts, whether they be wonders in nature, the people around you, the food on your plate! Whatever He has given, He has given to be enjoyed by His people.

I challenge you to live with integrity and joy in Christ. What better legacy can we leave?

TM

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Help!

I have been thinking about a new post - three, actually - and I am unsure of where to start. So... I figured I would put these three ideas into a post and ask the opinion of my invisible readers. Which do you think I should write on, first? Second? Last?

1) The idea that all men die of unnatural causes.

2) The importance of attending ONE church - not church-hopping.

3) How the chief end of man is to be accomplished.

TM

Monday, May 10, 2010

So Many Thoughts!

I realized, with shame, that I have not posted anything new for almost a year! Actually... Benny pointed it out. That makes me even more ashamed :(.

Oh, well! It's time to make it up to my nonexistent readers! :).

SO much has happened. A whole year of school, for instance. Also, a lot of important decisions have come into place: Majors, future education, relationships, work, etc. It has been totally crazy.

My fourth and final semester at Sandburg has been both my easiest and my hardest. I have taken all classes that I truly love, and that made it easy; however, I did take 18 or 19 hours. That is a lot of English and Music! I took two independent studies, which was a very big part of the great amount of time I have not had :). Tim also got a new job, this past year, so his teaching instruction in the music department was replaced by James Hutchings, who is, quite frankly, amazing. I feel like I have progressed with him, developing my musicianship, more than with most other music teachers I have had - at least equal with all of them. I wish I could take more from him, but I don't see that happening :). I'm also sad to leave Mr. Burdick, who has been my steady anchor through both years of school. He told me that I took more of his classes than any student he had ever had. I was fortunate: I took six :). He spent the first year trying to convince me to change my major to English, which I did end up doing, to his great pleasure.

In my work life, I still work with Steven, one of my dearest loves and joys. I find myself more inspired by him every day. He reminds me to forget yesterday and do my best at the moment I am currently living :). I work with him again, this Summer, my fourth Summer with him. I am hoping to introduce him to several people, too, who have heard me speak of him.

In my spiritual life, I have recently have several epiphanies which cannot be spoken plainly, I do not think; however, God has been steadfast and patient with me. It has been a hard year, and I would not have made it without the shadow of His right hand.

In my personal life, I have made many new friends - more than I ever thought I would - and I think several of them are forever friends. I am thinking of a couple in particular: David and Benny. Hopefully they will be known better to my other friends and family in future. There are, of course, other friends to be known! Ian, Nathan Scott, Gracie, Er!ka, Cleopatra (Edward), Brandon, Nate, Lanae, Reed, Dan, Beth, Stephenie, and the list goes on! I love people :).

That is all I will write for now. I will try my hardest to keep up with this. If I forget, my nonexistent readers will, I'm sure, put a bug in my ear :).

Saturday, July 4, 2009

All People Are Stupid - Chapter One

All People Are Stupid
A Guide to Helping People Think
by Sarah D. Miller

Chapter 1: How to Get A’s In Class
Success In High School, College, and Beyond

When taking classes, there is always this need for students to get an A in everything; However, there is also the misconception that there are special tricks to getting this coveted grade. This chapter is to help the reader come to the realization that an A that is hard to get is given only to the student who wants it. How have I come to this conclusion? Simply by knowing that getting an A requires work, and the work required seems far too much for some to handle. Through this chapter, I hope to make the task a little easier and clearer to those who have a difficult time. Also, to those who are no longer in school and think that there is no need for them to read this chapter, you are wrong! Much of the information in this chapter can be helpful to people who are not students, especially when it comes to learning about how the brain reacts to its surroundings.

There are 7 major steps to doing well in classes.
Attending
Listening
Knowing when to take notes
Asking Questions
Studying/Doing Homework
Follow Up
Taking Good Tests

The first step is to attend the class. This may seem like an obvious thing to say, but it is not uncommon for college students to simply skip a class for no real reason at all. I’ve watched students come in for a class, and if the teacher was not already there, they would leave. I often heard other students discuss skipping their next class just because they wanted to. This is a very bad habit to begin and very hard to break if started. If you ever feel the urge, immediately ban that idea from your mind. Skipping class means you could miss out on what could be a major class lecture and/or discussion. There may be an important assignment given, due the next class, which you will not be able to hand in, unless you ask about the class (which most students do not do). Even skipping a review class is unwise, because good teachers, although most of the time very well organized, will sometimes forget about important information you may need to know until they look over the test you are reviewing for. If this is ever the case and you miss a review class, you might fail based on the information you could not have possibly studied for. I have watched students fail classes as a direct result from this very problem. It is never a good idea to miss a class.

The second step is to listen to the teacher. This is one of the hardest parts, believe it or not. The newest generations are being raised on fast-paced sports, video games, movies, etc. As a result, anything that does not vary its method of output about every five minutes will soon become boring to its audience. This is bad for the teachers who are trying to teach wandering minds and eyes. The most interesting teacher I had was one who was constantly varying his methods. I never came close to falling asleep in his classes. One minute he would be writing on the board, then next he would have the overhead on, the next he would start a discussion, the next there was a pop quiz. However, another teacher of equal caliber I found extremely dull, because he never varied his teaching methods. I was almost always feeling lulled to sleep in his class. It was not that the class bored me. I was interested in it, but I could not easily keep my attention on the same method of teaching for almost hour and thirty minutes (which was how long my classes were, on average). Note: I said it was not easy, but neither was it impossible. When faced with a class that is too methodical and meticulous, it becomes important to keep your brain alert. There are hundreds of ways to do this, and every person is different. Everyone can do this in a different way. I knew someone who did word-searches to keep from being distracted. I knew someone else who color coded all her notes. When I was falling asleep, I retraced my notes. This kept me awake and alert. The key is to find out what can keep you alert, but also undistracted. Do not choose to do a crossword puzzle or something that would require you to think. Pick something that will be not be distracting to others and that you can do without thinking.

The third step is knowing when and how to take notes. There are only three things you should ever write down. Write down whatever your teacher writes on the board or has on the power-point notes, especially term definitions. Do NOT write down something if your teacher says it will not be important. If you do, later when you are studying, you will see the ‘unimportant’ as just as important as everything else. This will keep you from having everything else as solid as it could have been. If you want to write it down just because you think it is interesting, have a special place in your notebook or binder to put down these notes.

The second thing to write notes for is on whatever the teacher says, “This is important,” or something along those lines. If the teacher says it’s important, always write it down. Also write it down if the teacher repeats something several times. This is a teacher’s way of giving you time to write something down that is relevant to whatever you are studying. Pay close attention if you want to catch this. It is one of the more subtle ways a teacher can help you take notes.

The final things you would write down would be notes on the lecture itself. This means: a lecture that is given without the teacher writing on the board or providing power-point notes. This is the hardest way to take notes, but if you know how to take notes, it will be easier. Often a teacher will emphasize a point by pronouncing words very carefully and slightly louder than usual. Write these things down. Be sure to write down names, dates, and term definitions wherever they come up, unless you are told they are not important.

My final point is on how to actually take notes. The most important thing you can ever learn about notes is: Do not try to write down everything word for word, except for some definitions. This makes notes copious and hard to read when you are later studying for tests. You have to write so fast that your words are sloppy, and often to difficult to translate later. The key is to choose key words from the main point. If the teacher says, “It is important to remember this: In 1918, although the life expectancy was twelve years higher, the Spanish Influenza killed enough people of middle age for this to be lowered.” You can shorten this greatly by writing down only some key words: 1918 - Spanish Influenza -twelve year life expectancy drop (You could even shorten this further if you learn to use appropriate numbers, symbols, and abbreviations in place of a whole word: Span Flu ‘18 - 12 yr. exp. Drop). You don’t have to write down anything except that which will help you to remember the information given. I once had a teacher that only allowed three words per main point, but it is easier for me to remember from fragments of phrases, whereas I had a sibling who could remember a whole paragraph from just a few words. To each his own, but shorten your notes to as few phrases or words as possible. This will save you a lot of time in studying later.

The fourth step is asking questions. This can be very difficult for some, but with the new world of technology, teachers now have e-mail! This means that you can never make excuses about not knowing material or being sure about your facts! Even if you don’t have your teachers personal e-mail, if you are in college, there are often e-mails for instructors on the college website; However, if it is possible, you should always ask the teacher your questions in person. E-mail should be a last resort. I often e-mailed my instructors to set up a time when we could meet, and I could ask questions. What sort of questions should you ask? Ask about anything you aren’t clear on, especially if you are confused about a difference between two terms or ideas. Also make sure you are completely clear about what your assignments are and what will be on your test. Asking questions about your grades is also a good idea, especially if you received a grade that was lower than your expectations. This is not to say you should challenge the grade. The point is to learn from your mistakes and try to do better on your next test and/or assignment. You teacher will be pleased with your coming and requesting advice on how to do better. A student who asks questions is greatly valued by a good teacher.

The fifth step is to study and apply yourself to your homework. Study? Homework?! Yes! It is recommended that you apply at least two hours of study a week for every class credit you take. The harder the class, the more study required. During your study time, finish the homework first, and in the order it is due. If you have three assignments, a paper Tuesday, a study guide on Friday, and a page of work due the next week, the logical thing to finish first would be the paper. It doesn’t matter which assignment is harder. Do what comes first. After you are done with the assignments immediately due then you can move on to other assignments. When simply studying for a subject, to not overwork yourself. If you need to study Psychology for an hour, but after 20 minutes you feel brain-dead, take a break and work on something else. Do your best to eliminate all distractions. Distractions are not the same for everybody. Some people study better with music playing while others would be banging their heads against the wall if music was playing in the next room. It is also important to remain alert while you are studying. This means you probably shouldn’t study on your bed, especially if you’re tired. When I study, I have music playing and lots of water available. The music keeps my mind from wandering, and drinking the water keeps me from falling asleep. Find things like this to keep you awake, but try not to make snacking one of these things. Snacking while doing homework in college can cause unwanted weight gain.

The sixth step in acquiring A’s is following up on your classes. This is a step that is skipped by most students, but it is also a very rewarding step. There are two parts of it. The first is to do research on your class subject. For instance, if you are doing critical reading, a good way to follow up on this would be to research the author, the time period, and the story itself (Critical essays, similar stories, discussion of plot, symbols, theme, etc.). I did this for all of my interactive classes, and it helped a great deal. It is extra work, and it is certainly not required, but you will always do better, especially critically, if you have researched the topic of discussion. Like I said, it is extra work, but the outcome is tremendous, and your teachers will notice the extra effort.

The second way to follow up on classes is to either have a study group with either classmates and/or have someone with whom you can discuss what you are learning in class. This is extremely important. Studies have shown that people who discuss what they are learning in class are able to conserve what they learn at a much higher percentage than those who just take notes, especially if they discuss it in a teaching fashion. You have to know your information extremely well to teach it, so teaching it will require you to learn and retain the information you need to remember.

Following up on your classes and studies requires extra work than is actually required, but if the class is important to you, you should be willing to do whatever you can to make the class worth your time.

The final step to getting A’s in class is doing well in tests. This might seem like a no brainer, but even if you apply the other six steps, you can still get a bad grade or even fail your class. Yes, this might seem silly. If you’ve spent hours and hours studying, surely the grade is absolute, but that is a very foolish assumption. In preparation for a test, studying is only one part. There are six things, aside from studying, that you need to watch when preparing for your tests.

Alcoholic and drug intake
Sleep
Eating
Music/TV
Time spent just before
God

Watching your alcoholic and drug intake is very important. Note: Caffeine and prescription medications count. Anything that can make you tired, jittery, or confused, is something that you should avoid like the black plague before a test - At least an entire days abstinence. If you walk in for a test drunk or so heavily medicated you can barely keep your eyes open, hours of study go to waste.

Sleep is also very important. Getting enough sleep is critical. You should have at least two nights good sleep before a test, preferably three. Just a good night’s sleep before the day of the test is not enough. If you are tired, it is just as bad as coming in sick. Sleep keeps your brain energized. If your brain is not energized, you can not hope to do as well as you could.

Eating the necessary meals before a tests is also extremely important, especially breakfast. Just as sleep helps the brain prep, food helps the mind sharpen and wake up faster. Also, it is very distracting to yourself and others if your stomach is growling because you are starving. Hunger is a distraction, and if it can be avoided, it should be.

Music and TV are some of the less obvious but most important things to watch when prepping for a test. The most obvious, perhaps, is to make sure you’re not staying up late, watching TV (For those who don’t realize the obvious - TV includes DVD’s, TV programs, and any sort of video game). Also, TV right before a test can be very distracting. This is a bad idea. Avoid staying up late, and avoid direct contact the day of the test.

Music is least obvious because most people aren’t aware of the affects of music on how your brain and body work. Music like Hip Hop, Rock and Roll, and Rap, for example, can have a negative effect. This is because most music of these genres use what is often referred to as staggered rhythm. This means that if the music has four beats (Like 4/4), the downbeat is not played on one and three like it should be - It is played on two and four. If the music has three beats (3/4 for example), the downbeat should be played on one, but in these genres it is often played on beat two or three. The original downbeats of music were designed to be on one and three because they then follow the natural rhythms of the body. Your heartbeat and pulse beat naturally on one and three. When you listen to music that fights this natural rhythm, your body becomes stressed. You may not feel it, but it is there. Another downside is that the music is often very repetitive, and repetitive music is bad for your brain. When it is repetitive, your mind stops computing, because there is no change. The less your mind computes, the more neglected it becomes. The more neglected it becomes, the less able you will be to process thought and information. Obviously, with these downsides, you do not want to be listening to Rap right before a test. This is not to say that these genres should be forever abandoned from your library. It should only show you that a great variety is necessary.

What should you listen to? Studies have shown that students listening to Mozart for ten to twenty minutes, just before a test, resulted in an average of over 50% greater testing results, in each student who participated. Why is this? One of the trademarks of Mozart’s music is its great complexity and rhythmic drive. In fact, most Classical music has been shown to help increase IQ, aide the ability to concentrate, and to help the listener relax. I strongly recommend listening to Classical music just before a test. So, instead of pulling out musicians like Muse, Nickleback, or Snoop Dogg, pull out ones such as Mozart, Beethoven, Vivaldi, or my personal favorite, Rachmaninov. This might upset some who would never be caught dead listening to Classical music, of all things, but there is just as much variety in the world of Classical music as there is in anything else. If you look, I have no doubt in my mind that you will find a type that suits you. Quite frankly, I have yet to meet someone who does not like at least one Classical composer.

It is also important to watch the time you spend within an hour or two of your test. Do not spend this time joking with friends, on your computer, or just messing around. Spend this time preparing and focusing on the tests. You can also spend this time invigorating your mind with the other things in this list I gave. Listen to Mozart, eat a filling snack, and make sure your mind is awake and concentrated on what is coming up. This is not the time to cram but simply to focus on the task ahead.

The very last, and I believe most important thing to watch, is that you have prayed and done your devotions for the day. This might seem silly to some. There have not been studies to show that this greatly increases your grade average, but I know from experience that I feel at greater ease when taking my tests if I feel comfortable in my relationship with God. God gives His children a peace that is comforting at any time, and I welcome it when I am testing! I do not get an A on every test because of this, but I do get them because of God. It is because of Him that I have what intelligence I have, and I think it is important to thank Him for it (And maybe to even remind Him that He wants me to get an A!). I believe He even helps His children remember what they have learned, at times, and have even heard accounts of people who said they only passed tests because of God. Whether or not you choose to believe this practice, I believe it has honestly helped me, or I would not have included it.

Now you know how to take good tests! There is no magic spell or tips for last minute cramming. Getting A’s does not even require intelligence. All it requires is work, work, more work, and a lot of determination to do your absolute best, and it is always worth it.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

It is sad to see that I have horribly neglected my blog. I suppose it is because I realize that few people read it, if any, so I rarely write. However, it is a good way to relieve heavy thought and to ponder in writing.

I'm going to post a poem that I recently rediscovered in one of my lost notebooks. Enjoy!

When a heart is pained, where does it turn?
How invariably to the wrong place!

There are things which the heart must forget.

Turn not to happiness, lest your broken heart be crushed.
Let the heart be content with it's lot.

Be not stubborn and stuck in your ways, for the firm cannot be moved.
The heart will forget pain, so, farewell to Love!
One cannot exist alone, for they are symbiotic.

Love is pain, and let it be so!
For pain strengthens the best love.

The Love that is strengthened perseveres. Ah! To the very end!
For the scars of Life are a shield.

Let the arrows fly! Then the enemy draw it's sword!
For no one can hurt me! My heart has loved and known pain.

Let it always be so, now and forever.


This poem was written at a time when I realized that God seems to find the perfect way to mold me through whatever I go through. I realized that I had let pain take me and tried to turn to happiness, but it didn't work. When I let God use my pain to strengthen, and when I allowed myself to love again, I felt whole and invincible. In many ways, God has used pain to mold me into the person I am. I feel like Stonewall Jackson when it comes to this. When he was dying, he was asked if he would take the chance to go back in time - To change the past. He said he would not, because he believed that God's will was more important than his own. What a powerful concept! And one that I keep in my own heart.

God bless and keep you.
TM

Thursday, August 14, 2008

My Bad Poetry :)

Ah, the subtle influence of a touch, a look, a word.

Even though I consider my own poetry nonsensical I'm going to post some lines from one of them. I just like the thought of this one...

Look up into the heavens.
Hear the whispers of the angels.
"Holy is the Lord God Almighty!"

Rolling, tumbling over one another
The clouds go their separate ways.
See! See! Make way for the King!

Only the pure are left.
All unrighteousness fades away.
But even the clean tremble: IN PRESENCE OF THE ALMIGHTY!

Monday, July 28, 2008

25 Most Influential Men - Part 2

This post will have to be relatively short, because I have to go to work shortly... Let's start where I left off.

Derek Miller ~ This is my second of five older brothers. Quite naturally he has had a great influence on me, as a brother in blood and as a brother in Christ. He was always partial to me, and we are very close.

Jason Miller ~ This is the oldest of my five brothers. His influence has been on many levels, including the way I take a test! He is probably the one I've had the least contact with, but still a lot compared to some relationships.

Matthew Miller ~ This is the youngest of my five older brothers. When I was little he was the one brother I wanted to be friends with, and I am still like that in many ways. His influence has been astoundingly great in ways I can't explain. I was always partial to him, despite our many differences, probably because of our closeness in age.

Nathan Miller ~ This is the third of my five brothers. We are alike in many subtle ways that most wouldn't notice. His influence has been more on that level than anything. He was gone most of my teenage years, in the military, so I haven't had as much contact with him as I would like. But his influence is still marked in my mind.

Rodney Miller ~ This is my father. His influence has been one of the greatest and most pronounced. He has always been a loving and gentle father. Sometimes a little annoying :) But always my Daddy.

Stephen Miller ~ This is my fourth brother of five. He is probably the brother that's personality is closest to mine. This being so, his influence was probably more so than some of the other brothers. We have always been pretty close.

Allen Patterson ~ This man I have known personally much of my life. I mostly saw him as the man who looked a lot like one of my brothers before I actually got to know him. His influence has also been of a more subtle kind that many fail to notice.

Paul the Apostle ~ This man in dead, and I do not know him personally. He was also known as Saul when he persecuted Christians. His influence has been that of his walk and ministry.

Donnie Plemons ~ This man I have known, all my life, as Brother Plemons. His influence has been through his Christian walk and ministry. He shows God's love in the most loving and hardworking ways. God has greatly blessed me through him.

Howard Russell ~ This man I have known for at least eight years, but have had personal contact with for six years, because of his music ministry. His funny yet insightful way of using his music ministry has been a great influence on the way I minister.

William Sillings ~ This man I have known of most of my life, but have been in personal contact with for four or more years. His influence has been in his Christian walk, his ministry, and the conversations we've had together. His wise insight has been a great help and witness to me.

Aaron Ward ~ This man is an adoptive brother. I have probably known him for four or five years, and his influence has been of a brotherly kind.

Richard Wurmbrand ~ This man I have never met, even though he died during my lifetime (2001). His influence was in his Christian walk and him ministry through Voice of the Martyrs, a ministry that I personally support as much as possible.


Well, there you go. One man that isn't on the list, but would have been the 26th is Amos Hann. A man who shows his faith in the most interesting ways. :) Those of you that know him understand best.
"This is the mark of a really admirable man: Steadfastness in the face of trouble." Ludwig van Beethoven
"It is a sad fate for a man to die too well known to everyone else and still unknown to himself." Francis Bacon
It is a mindless philosophy that assumes that one's private beliefs have nothing to do with public office. Does it make sense to entrust those who are immoral in private with the power to determine the nation's moral issues and, indeed, its destiny? .... The duplicitous soul of a leader can only make a nation more sophisticated in evil. ~ Ravi Zacharias