A very good friend of mine posted this link, on Facebook, with the following comment:
http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/09/14/staying-celibate-before-marriage-was-best-thing-ive-ever-done/
"This article is an excellent example of how the social construct of "virginity" can turn someone into a holier-than-thou asshole. It is also my expert opinion that this guy has a small penis."
Now, I rarely get into arguments on Facebook. It's not that I never write anything offensive, because I do quite a bit, I just don't see the point of making people angry when they already know, by the way I live, that I don't see eye to eye with them. Most of my friends are from the secular atmophere, and I've come to accept them, despite their faults, and show them Christ by my love. They know I accept them - not their sin - and it is this fact which has earned me friends of all colours. This type of article and sarcastic comment I would usually pass over, ignoring the inner contradictions, but this time, the issue was too important to me to say nothing. This was what I replied:
"First, I just want to say that this guy is an idiot. The article is badly written and offensive for the sake of being offensive rather than trying to simply explain why waiting is worth it. I mean, I waited; Benny waited… and our sexual relationship is anything but awkward. The wedding night itself wasn’t even airbrushed by anxiety or nervousness about potentially bad performance – on either side – because we were so excited to give ourselves completely to one another. The fact that we could enjoy that union without even considering anything like negative “Sex with _____was so much more satisfying” or even positive: “Man, he’s way better than ____.” We didn’t have a set of sexual standards in our heads that the other person had to meet, and it was a relief to both of us that we would never be measured, sexually, based upon the experience of the other.
Also, we are both so eager to please one another that we never think: “Wow, I wish I had more experience with lots of people so that I knew a lot of technique.” Actually, just having one another has meant that we are learning the needs, impulses, and pleasures of the other. Every day, we learn how to better please one another. It’s a really awesome gift, and I’m very glad I waited. I mean, even if I had just slept with Benny before we married, there would have been no awesome wedding night, because all the anticipation of waiting and the build of tension is lost.
I’m not condemning people who don’t wait, contrary to this guy. I mean, I think it’s a wonderful idea, and I think everyone should wait, but I understand that there are a lot of things that contribute to loss of virginity, and I can’t shun people for being human. I’ve done poorly in other areas that I’m not proud of, so I definitely am not better than them.
Mostly, this is what I think: sex is awesome, and it’s worth waiting for the perfect moment."
Showing posts with label Grace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grace. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Attending an Antipodal Church
Now, just to clarify before I even start, this post is not meant to bash another church, theology, or even to say which one is right or wrong. I do have certain beliefs which will show, because it is inevitable that one often thinks he or she is right. I only want to share my thoughts on how it feels to attend a church that is founded on theology about as opposite of mine as you can get in the protestant group.
~~~~~
There are various things one will look for in a church. Some look for fellowship, others look for a good children’s program, some look for a specific denominational background. You can’t look for a perfect church, because if you happen to find one, you would ruin it by joining. When Benny moved to Appleton, almost a year ago, I told him I trusted him to pick a church for us to attend after we married. This, I knew, was to take a risk, because although we basically agree theologically, he paid a lot less attention to it than I did. You can imagine how nervous I was when he called me, excited about this church he had found and thought would be a perfect fit for us, and told me it was an Orthodox Presbyterian Church.
Don’t get me wrong, here. I’m not saying that I don’t like being exposed to other denominations. I’ve experience the worship and teachings of various ones, including – at least three full length services, often more – Nazarene, Baptist, Catholic, Anglican, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Bible Missionary, Congregational, Evangelical, Methodist, etc. I was raised Wesleyan-Arminian in a non-denominational church. When asked what denomination I am, I always give the same answer: I’m Wesleyan-Arminian Congregational (not Roman) Catholic Baptist Nazarene Methodist. Is this a cop-out? Nope. I simply understand that my theology and how I follow Christ can be traditionally seen in each of those denominations, if not seen in the present time.
Why this explanation? Mostly to illustrate how different the church I was raised in is from the one I now attend. I went from a Wesleyan church to a Calvinist church (glad I knew my TULIP well…). I’ve attended close to two months of services in this church, now, and have had some thoughts on what I truly value in a church.
First, and most importantly, I value a church in which the pastor is a genuine shepherd. This means that the pastor has studied his doctrine and church history well and desires to impregnate his congregation with those doctrines and traditions which he believes have been fundamental. In other words, he believes firmly in what he stands on and desires to hold his flock to the standards which he believes God has biblically founded. A pastor who additionally pulls no punches is an excellent pastor to have.
Second, I value a church in which great importance is placed on the family. This can be seen in many ways, but it is always clear when the family is important to the church. Partly it is seen within the literal families but mostly in the blood-washed family. A church where there is clear fellowship, love, and a desire to serve one another is a church where I cannot help but feel blessed.
Third, despite of (or in spite of?) any differences in doctrine which may be present, it is clear that the people there yearn to serve God with all their heart, soul, strength, and mind. I believe that anyone who truly serves God and longs to serve Him better every day will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, despite what doctrines he may hold. Although I deem your doctrine is incredibly important, I do not believe it saves you – but nor does it keep you from the throne of grace. I follow God to the best of my abilities, and I believe that my doctrines are scriptural. I know many who differ in doctrine but live with that aim as well, thus I cannot condemn them but rather wish them many blessings.
Attending this church has been a challenge, in several ways, but I have found it to be a place of peace as much as the church in which I grew up. God is preached there. I don’t feel persecuted or hindered by the differences in such a way that I am unable to worship. In fact, I find the differences strengthening my faith and encouraging me. I am fed, for each of us comes knowing we have fallen short of the glory of God and desperately need His strength for every step to come.
In Christ.
~~~~~
There are various things one will look for in a church. Some look for fellowship, others look for a good children’s program, some look for a specific denominational background. You can’t look for a perfect church, because if you happen to find one, you would ruin it by joining. When Benny moved to Appleton, almost a year ago, I told him I trusted him to pick a church for us to attend after we married. This, I knew, was to take a risk, because although we basically agree theologically, he paid a lot less attention to it than I did. You can imagine how nervous I was when he called me, excited about this church he had found and thought would be a perfect fit for us, and told me it was an Orthodox Presbyterian Church.
Don’t get me wrong, here. I’m not saying that I don’t like being exposed to other denominations. I’ve experience the worship and teachings of various ones, including – at least three full length services, often more – Nazarene, Baptist, Catholic, Anglican, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Bible Missionary, Congregational, Evangelical, Methodist, etc. I was raised Wesleyan-Arminian in a non-denominational church. When asked what denomination I am, I always give the same answer: I’m Wesleyan-Arminian Congregational (not Roman) Catholic Baptist Nazarene Methodist. Is this a cop-out? Nope. I simply understand that my theology and how I follow Christ can be traditionally seen in each of those denominations, if not seen in the present time.
Why this explanation? Mostly to illustrate how different the church I was raised in is from the one I now attend. I went from a Wesleyan church to a Calvinist church (glad I knew my TULIP well…). I’ve attended close to two months of services in this church, now, and have had some thoughts on what I truly value in a church.
First, and most importantly, I value a church in which the pastor is a genuine shepherd. This means that the pastor has studied his doctrine and church history well and desires to impregnate his congregation with those doctrines and traditions which he believes have been fundamental. In other words, he believes firmly in what he stands on and desires to hold his flock to the standards which he believes God has biblically founded. A pastor who additionally pulls no punches is an excellent pastor to have.
Second, I value a church in which great importance is placed on the family. This can be seen in many ways, but it is always clear when the family is important to the church. Partly it is seen within the literal families but mostly in the blood-washed family. A church where there is clear fellowship, love, and a desire to serve one another is a church where I cannot help but feel blessed.
Third, despite of (or in spite of?) any differences in doctrine which may be present, it is clear that the people there yearn to serve God with all their heart, soul, strength, and mind. I believe that anyone who truly serves God and longs to serve Him better every day will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, despite what doctrines he may hold. Although I deem your doctrine is incredibly important, I do not believe it saves you – but nor does it keep you from the throne of grace. I follow God to the best of my abilities, and I believe that my doctrines are scriptural. I know many who differ in doctrine but live with that aim as well, thus I cannot condemn them but rather wish them many blessings.
Attending this church has been a challenge, in several ways, but I have found it to be a place of peace as much as the church in which I grew up. God is preached there. I don’t feel persecuted or hindered by the differences in such a way that I am unable to worship. In fact, I find the differences strengthening my faith and encouraging me. I am fed, for each of us comes knowing we have fallen short of the glory of God and desperately need His strength for every step to come.
In Christ.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Problems During "Coffee With Jesus"
I had a hard time deciding whether to write this or not, because I know there are a lot of people who really enjoy the comic strips “Coffee With Jesus.” Ever since they started to appear in my facebook newsfeed, I quickly found that they made me feel incredibly uncomfortable – and not in the good “thank you, God, for showing me the error of my ways and giving me the chance to improve” way. Instead, they seemed like closet hypocrisy.
I can already hear the protests. “Woah, Sarah. Aren’t you taking this a bit too seriously?” I don’t think so. You might argue that these are just joking around and that if I can’t take a joke, I should butt out. Well… that’s not the problem. All people know that there are some things you don’t joke about. Some jokes are bad in certain situations or with certain people (like wearing fur to a PETA meeting), and some jokes are never funny (such as jokes about spousal unfaithfulness and other various jokes with sexual connotations). I can get a joke. In fact, I probably have a greater range of humour than most people, but I know that some things shouldn’t be put into a circumstance that makes them lighter than they actually are. I try not to joke about serious spiritual matters, and I never want to make light of God.
Problem 1: “Coffee with Jesus” as a “comic” makes light of things which should not be made light.
Another person might say: “Well, sometimes you have to get a person’s attention.” I understand that sometimes you need a left hook, but this particular strip uses the left hook of offense. They are written to be offensive. If you don’t believe me, look up the earliest strips. They even deleted some of the oldest because they were too offensive. They may be more subtle these days, but they haven’t changed all that much. I realize that sometimes we offend people with our beliefs, but I deem that to offend anyone on purpose is a sin. Check out Matthew 17:24-7. This is the conversation between Jesus and Peter when Jesus says to pay taxes “lest we offend.” And in Romans fourteen, Paul talks about not doing anything which will cause your brother to sin or offend him. To offend a person is to cause strife, pain, and resentment. None of these things bring a person closer to you. If people are always feeling attacked by you, you have lost your witness.
Problem 2: “Coffee with Jesus” as a tool to teach by means of offense actually undermines your ability to witness.
The big argument: “It’s good to learn this way, because it brings Jesus down to our level so we can understand Him better.” I am all for learning more about Jesus. That is incredibly important in the life of any Christian; however, since when has anyone benefitted from trying to be equal to God? You might not look at it that way, but think about the way that these comics take Christ out of context. I’m sure that if He were on earth, he might very well drink coffee with us, discuss whatever we wanted, but do you think He would discuss things in such cavalier ways? When He was on earth the first time, He took witnessing quite seriously, and I don’t recall Him ever joking with someone: “Well, you just doubled your time in purgatory.” These strips portray Jesus stripped of the reverence and grace which He portrayed over two thousand years ago. Sure, He was sometimes angry and offensive, but He was a Man of grace and the comics do not portray Him in that light.
Problem 3: “Coffee with Jesus” puts Jesus level in status with me and portrays Him as a man without grace.
Those are my basic problems with the new “I’m a cool Christian” craze. Things pop up all the time that bother me, but this one actually gave me pause and made me concerned about the type of God we are portraying. I don’t think it’s wise to flaunt Jesus in any context, even if the intentions are well founded. I think these could be dangerous and undermining.
That’s all.
I can already hear the protests. “Woah, Sarah. Aren’t you taking this a bit too seriously?” I don’t think so. You might argue that these are just joking around and that if I can’t take a joke, I should butt out. Well… that’s not the problem. All people know that there are some things you don’t joke about. Some jokes are bad in certain situations or with certain people (like wearing fur to a PETA meeting), and some jokes are never funny (such as jokes about spousal unfaithfulness and other various jokes with sexual connotations). I can get a joke. In fact, I probably have a greater range of humour than most people, but I know that some things shouldn’t be put into a circumstance that makes them lighter than they actually are. I try not to joke about serious spiritual matters, and I never want to make light of God.
Problem 1: “Coffee with Jesus” as a “comic” makes light of things which should not be made light.
Another person might say: “Well, sometimes you have to get a person’s attention.” I understand that sometimes you need a left hook, but this particular strip uses the left hook of offense. They are written to be offensive. If you don’t believe me, look up the earliest strips. They even deleted some of the oldest because they were too offensive. They may be more subtle these days, but they haven’t changed all that much. I realize that sometimes we offend people with our beliefs, but I deem that to offend anyone on purpose is a sin. Check out Matthew 17:24-7. This is the conversation between Jesus and Peter when Jesus says to pay taxes “lest we offend.” And in Romans fourteen, Paul talks about not doing anything which will cause your brother to sin or offend him. To offend a person is to cause strife, pain, and resentment. None of these things bring a person closer to you. If people are always feeling attacked by you, you have lost your witness.
Problem 2: “Coffee with Jesus” as a tool to teach by means of offense actually undermines your ability to witness.
The big argument: “It’s good to learn this way, because it brings Jesus down to our level so we can understand Him better.” I am all for learning more about Jesus. That is incredibly important in the life of any Christian; however, since when has anyone benefitted from trying to be equal to God? You might not look at it that way, but think about the way that these comics take Christ out of context. I’m sure that if He were on earth, he might very well drink coffee with us, discuss whatever we wanted, but do you think He would discuss things in such cavalier ways? When He was on earth the first time, He took witnessing quite seriously, and I don’t recall Him ever joking with someone: “Well, you just doubled your time in purgatory.” These strips portray Jesus stripped of the reverence and grace which He portrayed over two thousand years ago. Sure, He was sometimes angry and offensive, but He was a Man of grace and the comics do not portray Him in that light.
Problem 3: “Coffee with Jesus” puts Jesus level in status with me and portrays Him as a man without grace.
Those are my basic problems with the new “I’m a cool Christian” craze. Things pop up all the time that bother me, but this one actually gave me pause and made me concerned about the type of God we are portraying. I don’t think it’s wise to flaunt Jesus in any context, even if the intentions are well founded. I think these could be dangerous and undermining.
That’s all.
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